1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the weather channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up”.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up”.
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movies is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”.
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”.
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit, what the hell happened?”.
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it too. And now you know why I am forwarding this to you…
27. You know you’re old when you still “forward” things to people in emails as opposed to posting them on Facebook, Twitter, and/or blogs.
Watching my grandma slowly die… This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It’s sad, & very hard on me. But I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything in the world. I am SO grateful to have this time with her. And I’m happy that I’m able to do this. I’m happy for my grandma that there is someone here that will abide by her wishes & let her die with dignity. But still… it’s hard to watch her suffer. Fortunately though, her mind is slipping away & she’s sleeping most of the time. I can tell she’s at peace now. I don’t think she has much longer to go. I’m both sad and happy about that. Sad (of course) that I’m losing one of the most important people in my life. My grandma is my best friend, and has been more of a mother to me than my own mother ever was. But I’m happy that soon, she won’t be suffering anymore. And she’ll finally be reunited with all her loved ones that have gone before her.
Roseanne pulls back shower curtain, “Oh hi Jackie! We thought you went home.”
Jackie’s response: “Look at me. I got nothing. No boyfriend, no meaningful job, no husband, no family. It’s just me.”
Jackie holds up the bad of pot. “It’s just me and my ganja.”
Roseanna gives Jackie the rest of the fudgepop. Then falls over laughing hysterically.
~I fell over laughing hysterically at this too!!
During the scene with Dan and Roseanne, where they are hanging out in the bathroom after (presumably) getting stoned…
Dan is pouring his heart out to Rosanne as she eats a fudgepop. (Roseanne seems more interested in her frozen treat than in Dan’s words)
“Nobody loves me.” says Jackie from behind the shower curtain.
Freaked out looks from Dan and Roseanne, as they didn’t know Jackie was in the bathtub.
~This scene reminds me of “Ignore the man behind the curtain.” from ‘The Wizard of Oz’. I nearly pmsl when ever I watch it! LOL!!
Welcome to my new(est) blog!
All the poetry that I just posted (on 9/18/11) are poems I wrote in the past. If you’ve seen these poems before, then that means you saw them on one of my (many) older blogs. I’ve had many blogs over the years, and many different aliases. If you know me, then you know me. If you don’t know me…. that means I don’t want you to know, or don’t yet know you well enough to reveal the real me. So, in short: If you recognize me by my writing, that’s cool. If you don’t recognize me and/or I’ve not told you who I am, then give it some time. If I come to trust you, I’ll tell you who I really am. I live my life under the radar as much as I can. If you can’t deal with that…. too bad.